DP, Bradenton, FL

Tonight, mass hysteria and panic swept this tiny town, leaving dozens badly bruised, one with a severe neck injury, and several people trampled as concerned citizens flocked to their cars to get the hell out of the confined theater.

War of the Worlds was over.

The theater was packed, and all two year-olds were present, willing, and whining. Sources say someone wouldn't stop farting. Another was badly injured after being mauled for applauding at the end of the movie.