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Superfail part 1
Superfail part 2

Thanks to astute reader Nate Coffey and Dial-a-fix, we've found another DLL registration bug.

The current version of wuaueng.dll provided to Windows 2000 service pack 4 clients has a bug in its DllInstallServer.

In the first picture is a "before" screenshot that shows that all of the SvcHost key values are here. This is a freshly installed Windows 2000 machine that only has Service Pack 4:

In this second picture, I have visited Windows Update, gotten the latest Windows Update client, closed my browser, and then unregistered the DLL using regsvr32 /u:

In this third picture, I have re-registered the DLL using regsvr32 /i, but it caused an error (0×80070057) and only one key was put back. The netsvcs key is lost at this point. In order to fix this, merge this default SvcHost key .reg file.

The error code 0×80070057 is E_INVALIDARG, or invalid parameters/arguments.

The current version of Dial-a-fix will accidentally trigger this because of the malformed DllInstallServer in wuaueng.dll. Once a new, fixed version of the Windows Update client is pushed out, Dial-a-fix will be able to help you again. I'll be filing this as a bug with Microsoft - I hope they fix it.

Edit: be sure to read Superfail part 2 for the solution for afflicted machines.

http://forums.techguy.org/all-other-software/609118-solved-dial-fix.html

Basically Dial- a fix .. Does nothing .... Very few cases .. it solves the problem

...and this gem...:

All this can be easily achieved by a batch file

I've seen stuff like this floating around the web before. It doesn't really faze me as it just proves the poster's ignorance.

Dial-a-fix started as a set of batch files which were long and ugly like devil_himself's list of DLLs. Batch language differs slightly between Windows versions, and so do DLL registrations. Obviously, Windows 9x can't register all of the same DLLs that Windows XP can. IE7 also changed a lot of DLL registrations.

After a few months of using multiple batch files for each issue set (Cryptography, Windows Installer, etc) I got tired of having to fix them whenever a new conditional interrupted the workflow (such as a new version of a DLL that is no longer registerable, or to add dependency checks for missing files that I didn't realize could be missing when I first wrote the batch) so I converted the entire project into actual compiled code. This way, I could use real logic instead of a weak batch engine, and support more platforms.

The main problem that I have with that thread is that the junior member penguin47 has said that Dial-a-fix has solved the problem and simply wondered how it works. I wish he had asked me or Lunarsoft.net, but what can you do? Fortunately, the "senior member" devil_himself let him/her know that Dial-a-fix does nothing at all and has implied that it can accidentally fix your problem sometimes. I love that at the end devil_himself stated that this can all be easily accomplished with a batch file. Did you expect penguin47 to have found or written one?

penguin47 found my program, and it fixed the problem easily - for free. What's so wrong with that? Sure, you can easily write a junk batch file that does similar things to Dial-a-fix, but why would you shit on a program that makes it ten times easier and works on multiple versions of Windows, checking for stuff your batch file could never check for? My guess is that devil_himself is not an actual bench technician or has never used Dial-a-fix. I can't imagine any other reason to avoid something that is free and works this well just because you have some kind of batch file pride.

Yes, Dial-a-fix tells you all of the basic commands necessary to perform the same operations (somewhat) in its tooltips but you must remember that there is not enough advanced logic in a batch file to match what Dial-a-fix does now (checking for dependencies, etc).

Why do people think it's okay to turn on a laptop immediately after dousing it with a full glass of some liquid? We've seen wine, Gatorade®, water, tea, and coffee. They always try to turn the laptop (back) on while it's still wet. Why not at least let it dry for a few days, or bring it to a shop where it can be disassembled and cleaned? Once you turn it on right after spilling something on it, it's all downhill from there. After turning it on and letting all of the blue smoke out of the chips, they decide to bring it in and are befuddled as to why we are not able to repair the motherboard.

Pro-tip: leave it the fuck alone.

Tweakers are one of several banes of my existence.

Tweakers second guess the kernel developers and use third-party software utilities to "clean" the registry and remove/disable system services they shouldn't be touching.

They often end up with more than one registry cleaner, more than one antivirus, and/or more than one firewall application running at the same time. Tweakers care a lot about system speed, so of course this will make them download/apply more tweaks in an attempt to offset the speed decrease from all of the junk software they have installed and running.

They change every option in the system to something bizarre and follow nutball crazy tech evangelists such as (but not limited to) Kim Komando and Steve Gibson of GRC.

They listen to their friends who know less than them and swear by software such as (but not limited to) Norton Antivirus.

Their systems come into my shop because they're ridiculously broken, and I spend hours removing conflicting "one-click fix" software that has ironically caused the breakdown of the machine and re-applying system defaults (using things like Dial-a-fix to guide me). When I tell them that these software packages they're using are pieces of junk and are causing all of the problems, they don't believe me.

They always disable System Restore (because they don't think it works well enough or they think it takes up a lot of resources) so there's no way I can go back to a sane system state by rolling back individual hives. They usually "replace" System Restore with Norton GoBack or some other ridiculously bad program.

I'm sure Dr. J.D. Azil will chime in with more stuff about tweakers. Doctor?

1. Install Windows
2. Leave it the fuck alone

Okay, there may be actual tweakers that know what they're doing, but I never see them. Why would I? They know what they're doing!

I also see kids (usually self-professed "gamers") who do the following to their homebuilt machines:

• Attach a CPU heatsink without using any thermal paste
• Screw the motherboard directly to the case (without standoffs)
• Chain multiple fans from a single molex connector where the chain finishes at a hard drive (or two)
• Forcing RAM modules in backwards

Up until Vista was released, Acer has been shipping out desktops and laptops with the system partition formatted as FAT32. Are you fucking kidding me?

Vista now *requires* NTFS, so Acer is forced to use NTFS like the rest of the universe. What the fuck is wrong with Acer? I also hate Acer's other divisions: ALi (who makes chipsets that are actually worse than SiS chipsets) and AOpen.

To top that off, Acer still uses Toshiba MK*GA* (such as MK8025GAS) drives in their laptops. Huge "fuck you" to Toshiba for having hard drives that fail so quickly and consistently (the bearings always dry out - it's a design flaw that's never been fixed) and one to Acer for using these pieces of shit.

What a shitload of fuck.

I'll be back later with some more gripes.

Edit: I'm back.

Why does Verizon Security Center install its giant, buggy product even when you already have Norton Antivirus (which is bad in its own right), ZoneAlarm, Spysweeper, and/or even more miscellaneous protection programs? It doesn't even check for other security software, or ask you anything. It just installs. Thanks, I'm sure my user needed to run at 10% speed (due to dueling antiviruses) and/or blue screen/hard lockup every few moments.

Why does Sony partition its hard drive into C: and D:, where C: is around 10GB or less and D: contains the rest, and then not explain to the user that they need to store files on D: because Sony screwed them over? Why didn't they move Program Files to D: so that, you know, a user can actually install software without running out of C: space? It's nice to have an empty 245 GB D: drive, but I really think my user should have been told about this retarded setup beforehand. Now he has to pay me to combine the partitions and undo all of the damage Sony did by setting it up this way. And for what? Partitions don't increase performance, they only serve to complicate matters for end-users.

Worldwide there is a tendency in anti-virus forums and anti-spyware forums to complain about the anti-virus products from McAfee, Symantec and Norton.

Why is that, you may ask? Yes, they are bloated, they take almost half a millennium to scan your system and they were about the last products that could flawlessly work with Vista. But then, there are hundreds of crappy or sub-standard products available on the internet and a program like RogueRemover will take on but a few of the worst offenders. So, why do we care?

The root of this problem lies with the fact that these companies have brilliant sales departments. We all know that a good salesman can sell anything to an unwary customer. And there are hardly any more customers unaware than those who reside in the computer procurement departments of large companies and schools. McAfee, Symantec and Norton are pre-installed in virtually every computer that finds its way into your company or school. No problem, no hassle to search and find the best possible anti-virus scanner. No, that problem has already been conveniently solved for them by the seller.

We, the real experts, know better. We like lightning quick scans, as less false positives as possible, an appealing GUI and a responsive staff that will take all our problems seriously.

So, why do we care? We care because we have the best possible anti-virus programs running on our own computers but we have to live daily with these programs that can't meet our own high standards.

It can be regarded as a form of mental torture that, in the end, makes us more mature and resilient. Regard it as a test and also as an ongoing incentive for other companies to keep developing even better anti-virus programs and anti-spyware programs.

And in the end who really cares? It's not our own money that is wasted on these programs.

edit by DjLizard: I'm filing this under Incompetence also :D

One customer's hard drive was failing (severely; hundreds of weak sectors) and I rescued the data to a location on my network. She had an extended warranty through WorstBest Buy, so I told her to get her drive replaced and get the system up and running and then I would copy her data back to the new drive.

When Geek Squad took a look at the drive, they told her they wouldn't replace it as it was working fine. Sure it was, that's why Windows boots up just fine and there are no bad blocks found by Spinrite or badblocks(8).</sarcasm>

I told her to raise hell until she got her drive replaced, and to tell them to run sector tests on the drives because it's very plain to see that the drive is failing. Just because the S.M.A.R.T. status shows up fine doesn't mean the drive is fine. She finally got it replaced and I finally got her data back to her. Oh yeah, and they left no OS on it - I had to use the Toshiba recovery DVD and install all of the updates myself. I guess Geek Squad doesn't really care if a person's computer is up and running and safe or not.

Speaking of up-and-running, a second customer with a failing hard drive went through the same deal with me. Apparently his drive was failing bad enough because Geek Squad didn't bitch about it being fine, and just replaced it. I put on the ticket that the computer should be brought back when it is up and running so that I could copy the data back at no additional charge (I only charged 1 hour of labor for the whole recovery).

He brought the machine back today and there's no operating system on it at all. Geek Squad had told him that I could copy what I salvaged off the drive back onto the new drive to make it work again. Sure, that's going to fly. So now I have to charge an additional hour of labor to reinstall and update Windows because Geek Squad... I don't know. I just don't like (most) Geek Squad agents. I understand that there are some of you out there that are like me, and that's fine, but as an organization, Geek Squad is pretty shabby.